RSS

Monthly Archives: February 2013

New Awakenings

It occurred to me yesterday whilst walking to work, that we are all in the midst of new awakenings, plants coming to life with new buds, little animals coming out of hibernation, and me, I have awoken from a 5 year slumber ready to embrace my spring, my new awakening. 

I just love new beginnings, you never quite know where your journey may take you and how it will end. It never before occurred to me the timing of all the events recently, I chose to start a new start with a new year, I finally seen results at the end of a hard winter month and now with spring arriving, I feel like my battle with my weight is finally getting a little bit more enjoyable. I look forward to spring and summer now. I look forward to playing with my niece and not having to stop for breath, I look forward because that’s all there is now….Forward with life, forward with every step I’m taking. Every day is a battle, but day by day I’m winning little battles that before were huge wars.

Yes it’s a new awakening, and I feel great ūüôā I seen this daffodil bursting to life on the way to work yesterday and I just had to share it with you all. I also think this poem by William Wordsworth is just beautiful and really captures my feelings today.

Daffodils

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed–and gazed–but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils. 

William Wordsworth

Image

Advertisements
 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 20, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rach – What the hell happened?

Hola!

Thank you to all the response everyone sent me about my first blog entry, I value and appreciate everyone’s support. It keeps me motivated when all else fails ūüôā

I had a really great weekend, as I met up with an old friend who I¬†haven’t¬†seen in at least 5 years, due to the fact she abandoned me for the brighter skies of New Zealand ha ha. I have missed her zest for life, she is¬†truly¬†a redhead, a complete firework, who¬†doesn’t¬†give a damn what anyone thinks, it is quite refreshing to have someone like that as a friend.

Due to the fact we spent all day Saturday together, catching up and finding out about one another’s lives since we’d last seen each other, the topic of my weight gain became our talking point.

So if you don’t mind me asking Rach, like what the hell happened? Before I left you were fine

OH MY GOD….Don’t get me wrong – I knew we would have to talk about this at some point, it was just I had lived in denial for so long about my weight with friends and family that having this 100% honest friend ask me “what happened?” opened up a can of worms for me – how do I answer the question when I don’t honestly know myself?

I could only be as truthful to her as she had always been with me…

I honestly don’t know, a few things happened and I just got out of control, I didn’t exercise, I didn’t eat properly and…I just didn’t care.

It was the most honest I’ve been since I opened my eyes to the problem facing me in the mirror every morning.

At one point I didn’t care that I kept going up a size in clothes, I was with a man who loved me for me, and I was happy, or at least I thought I was happy. I was certainly happy with who I had chose to spend a life with, but I wasn’t happy at how distant we had become due to my overeating and lack of exercise, at one point we lived completely¬†separate¬†lives, going to bed, getting up and going to work, I don’t think either of the two of us realised how far apart we were living our lives until I started boot camp. We began to talk more, spend time together, he would sit in the kitchen with me and I would prepare us dinner, in a way we have gotten to know each other all over again, and I cant believe it took someone to ask me one simple question to make me realise and now I ask myself “Rach – what the hell happened?“.

I became lazy, both physically and emotionally. 2013 changes that, I will never again ever take for granted the good things that I have in my life.

In a way it motivates me, because I don’t want to lose my partner of 8 years to food or weight. We have been together a long time, and there’s a reason for that, we love each other and he has supported me through thick and thin as I have with him, I am not just changing my lifestyle for me, I am doing it for us.

A little food for thought today:

“Any experience can be transformed into something of value. Everything depends on the way you look at things. You cannot have the success without the failures.”¬†

Rach xoxo

 
1 Comment

Posted by on February 18, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

#aboutme

Well you know a little about me so far, my name is Rach, I’m 26 and I am from a small town in Northern Ireland called Lurgan.

What you don’t know about me is, I’m overweight.

But this year changes everything.

Yep 2013 is a new start for me, I’ve ignored the weight gain over the last 4 – 5 years, and this year changes that. I am determined to do something about it this time!

I tried before but nothing really ever stuck. I would maybe get 2 weeks over me then sabotage myself again and again and again and AGAIN!

It wasn’t until the day of January 5th 2013 that something clicked with me. No longer able to enjoy wearing nice clothes, going out with friends or even life in general as I was now suffering with a sleep disorder better known as Sleep Apnea – ¬†I opened up my google chrome browser and typed….

“weight loss bootcamp ni”

I read about different camps, but they were all extortionately priced. I couldn’t afford the clothes in my size nevermind ¬£1000! and that was just for one week of bootcamp. So I intensified my search and typed….

“bootcamp lurgan”

to which lead me to a page called impactfitnesscamp, where I read about how they lead weight loss bootcamp’s at a price I could afford AND the camp’s next start date was 7th Jan – 2 DAYS AWAY! which coincided with the date I would get my CPAP machine to aid my sleep disorder….BUT! it would mean starting it the day before my Birthday January 8th!

That night, I emailed the trainer Irene several times, and also done some facebook stalking and found her profile and messaged her through that aswell. Going to bed that night, I was so anxious, would Irene email me back and help me?

Maybe she would say no – maybe she would say yes, I didnt know. I tossed and turned the whole night hoping that my phone would ping with the sound of a facebook alert, finally after last checking my messages at 3.05am I must have fallen asleep.

I woke to Niki Minaj asking

‚ôęLet’s go to the BEACH BEACH….‚ôę

and was just thinking to myself, what a nice idea, yeah lets go when I opened my eyes and realised “SHIT! my phones ringing! I scrambled myself out of bed and grabbed my phone off the nightstand and answered “Hello..? :S”

“Hi is that Rachael? My name is Irene you emailed me with regards to my bootcamp.”

hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah!!!

My prayers had been answered

“Um yes that’s me”

Irene asked me a few questions about my intial fitness and weight. She was shocked and I could tell by the sound of her voice she had probably never had anyone as big as me join the camp before, but Irene was absolutely lovely and invited me along to try it out and see how I got on on the Monday 7th January, I was so excited BUT nervous, would everyone look at me and be disgusted, I knew I couldn’t even look in the mirror, it disgusted me so much. However I was going to go, I was going to climb out of this rut if it near killed me!

Diary Entry 6-01-2013

Night before bootcamp – I’m anxious. What will tomorrow bring? Who will be there? Will there be anybody my size there? It’s going to be hard but I have to do it, I’m afraid I’ll lose myself under my own weight. I have to save myself, my life, my health, my relationship, my family, my everything. When I look in the mirror I feel nothing but disgust, bury my head in sand and eat more food. I have blamed it on past events, but the truth is the weight was creeping on even before I realised it was. I hope tomorrow brings what I need. Night.

Diary Entry 07-01-2013 5.30 am

So tired, sleep was staggered last night. I was in bed by 11 pm, but should have went earlier!. it’s 5.32 am out there!! and pitch black outside. I could just go back to bed but this is DAY 1 of my new start. I have to do this!!! I can hear the tv going downstairs, Eamon must be down there, he starts his new job today I hope its all he wanted. Right I suppose time to get ready and go, wish me luck.

Diary Entry 07-01-2013 8.00 am

End of bootcamp morning 1, OMG OMG OMG I am actually ready to cry. I finished everything and feel brilliant, I wish I’d done this sooner! I’ve to go to Irene’s house tonight to get weighed, measured and photographed – I am NOT looking forward to that!

I’m home about an hour now and I’m beginning to feel the effects of this morning’s workout. I am quite stiff and my body didn’t react well to eating breakfast. I’m about to shower now and then I have to go to the hospital to collect my CPAP machine, which I am DREADING!

Diary Entry 08-01-2013

SORE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay it’s my birthday but, I have been crying since I went to bed last night, I am so sore it is unreal. What the hell? I am disgusted with myself that I have let myself get this way, I’m away to cry into my pillow it’s even sore to hold a pen.

I have come a long way from those diary entries just 6 weeks ago, with tomorrow morning being my sixth weigh in, I have lost 20lbs in total so far. My first week at boot-camp I lost 5lbs, the second week I lost the same, third week I lost 3lbs, fourth week I lost 3lbs and fifth week (last week) I lost 4lbs! I’m amazed at how far I’ve come. I hope you enjoyed reading a little about me, and I hope you continue to read my posts.

a little food for thought :
A year from now, you may wish you had started today- Robert Schuller

Rach xoxo

 
2 Comments

Posted by on February 17, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,